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Your Fastest Path to Greater Success and Friendship

I got this strange idea in eighth grade. To run for student body president is not a surprising decision for most outgoing, popular people. But I was neither. In fact I tended to daydream, read books that were not on the required list, and sit in the table at the far corner of the cafeteria with the only two friends I had, Denise and Janice. What unfolded within two months led me to discover the single best method to succeed (sometimes) in new endeavors. Perhaps more importantly, looking back, it enabled me to savor my life with some remarkable and remarkably diverse people who became my friends. Here’s what happened.

After graduating from college I returned to that school to visit the only teacher I really liked, Mrs. Dodge. She taught English like it tastes good. Even she did not recall my ever raising my hand to speak in class. Every school has a girl with the flawless hair style, perfect-in-front-of-adults manners, the tight clique of “in” friends and decent grades. In my school her name was Claire and she kept bumping into me in the hallway. At first I thought it was accidental but accidents don’t happen with such regularity. At least twice a day she knocked me aside, then gave me a tight, apologetic smile. I don’t know how I provoked her but she motivated me to sign up to run against her for student body president. Or rather she motivated my two friends to sign me up.

Talk about The Law of Unexpected Consequences.

My friend Denise’s sister was a sophomore at Harvard, a world away from Maplewood grade school in Portland, Oregon. Over Christmas vacation, she’s told us how she’d been invited to join a mastermind group that met regularly to support each other in their study goals and their plans for who they wanted to meet at school. Denise decided we should form a mastermind group to get me elected. We met everyday, right after school, reviewing a list of students. We brainstormed reasons why each one might want to vote, in their own interests for me or (more likely) against Claire.

We created cascades, a term we learned from Denise’s sister. It meant that we looked for students who were most likely to influence a cascade of other students. Those are the people that one of us approached first. So, while Claire (and her parents and friends) conducted a very public campaign with posters and parties, we worked quietly, one-by-one, under the water line of public attention at our small school. My narrow victory was a surprise to many including, frankly, the three of us. My victory speech, in front of the entire student body, was the first time I had voluntarily stood up to speak in front of more than two people, and that was to my five cousins at our family reunion.

At Janice’s suggestion, I thanked my opponent for her gracious manner in the campaign, alluding to the main trait she had not exhibited. “Look to their positive intent, especially when they appear to have none”, my behind-the-scenes campaign manager, Arne (aka my Dad) had advised in an early meeting of our kitchen (literally) cabinet.

That’s how I got my first taste of the power of what’s now called Collective Intelligence. With the right model for how we meet, we become more valuable together than apart.

I’ve often feeling like the odd duck among others in the jobs I’ve had, from reporter to corporate executive to government policy wonk to author/speaker. With each career shift, the most meaningful way I’ve created a tight-knit community of work allies and friends has been through starting a mastermind group of my peers, as you may want to do. Napoleon Hill was the first person to describe a “mastermind alliance” in his timeless book, Think and Grow Rich.

When a group commits to supporting each other by meeting regularly and abiding by mutually agreed upon Rules of Engagement, remarkable things happen. We tend to bring the best out in each other, as thousands have learned around the world through their mastermind groups. Individuals become tight-knit teams. We become happier and high-performing with and for each other.

In an increasingly transient world where more people spend more time alone, mastermind groups could be the best medicine.

If you think you’d like to form one, you might consider a group of your peers (in the same profession or industry or kind of work). I am in a five-year old group of my peers. We have all published books, worked outside the U.S. and speak for fee.

Or find others who share a top-of-mind business interest. When my friend opened her craft store she started a mastermind group of non-competing businesses that also sold locally.

Want to start one? For helpful guidance, turn to Jane Pollak, Karyn Greenstreet, Christine W. Zust, Evan Carmichael, Gayle Lantz and Susan Henderson.

Also you can learn faster and have more fun by creating what Chris Bailey calls a Learning Circle. Or, become an authentic and captivating presenter by joining one of Lee Glickstein’s Speaking Circles.

Thank you, Claire, for literally pushing me into discovering the power of mastermind groups. You changed my life.

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4 Comments

  1. don
    Posted November 28, 2007 at 2:27 pm | Permalink

    wow! what an interesting piece of information that you had not shared! i got the shy, reading books picture but not this! so your interest in mastermind groups, collaboration, wanting a small, tight knit group of friends, etc has deep roots. how was the experience of being president? how did you relate to your “rival” after winning? did you reward your friends with fun “assignments”? i think you told me about janice but not denise

  2. Kare Anderson
    Posted November 29, 2007 at 4:32 pm | Permalink

    How did I relate to my “rival”? Since she did not go near me after the elction, there was not much to do. Kind of a boring answer, eh?

  3. Posted November 30, 2007 at 5:06 am | Permalink

    Kare,

    I recently formed my second mastermind group. One of the people has training programs that focus on productivity tools. I’ve recently made a conscious decision to offer programs on some of the more common
    issues that plague business owners. She and I just met for the second time since forming the mastermind group. Here’s what we’ve accomplished so far.

    We’ve developed the framework for an entrepreneurial program series that is dramatically different than any of the local colleges and universities offer. We’ve determined how we can manage our databases to expand our marketing of this program and cross-market each other’s programs. We’ve found an easy reservation system to accommodate our immediate needs – one with which she’s already familiar. She’s handling the establishment of the joint databases and emarketing tool while I’m helping her write her marketing materials. On top of everything else, she’s a delight to work with. Not bad for two meetings, huh?

  4. Kare Anderson
    Posted November 30, 2007 at 7:50 am | Permalink

    Sounds like you’ve leverage value for all partners – and that you are thoroughly enjoying yourself. You are embodyingt he Me2We way, Dale.

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