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Attract More Respect and Affection

Compelling Peole 49It’s probably no surprise to you that we most admire those exude the right balance of strength and warmth, even if the notion runs counter to Machiavell’s famous view that, “It is much safer to be feared than loved.”

Like to learn how?

If you’re a woman or non-white this capacity is especially vital according Matthew+KohutCompelling People co-authors John Neffinger and Matthew Kohut. For example, they discovered that Hillary Clinton, “has been the butt of more jokes than any other human being, living or dead.”

1. How Do Public Leaders Rate on the Warmth/Strength Scale?

Enter the name in the search box. Then you can rate that public figure’s combination of strength and warmth, and also see their overall rating.

2. The Same Behaviors Make Men Look Caring And Women Seem Angry

• Often the media exhibits sexism in telling stories according to Joanna Coles, Cosmopolitan‘s editor-in-chief, on Morning Joe. “Male congressmen, male senators are always described as ‘stating’ something in the House. Women senators and congresswomen are always described as ‘complaining.’ Women are emotional; men are somehow stoic,” she said.

• Anger helps men attract people in a room, but often has the opposite effect for women.

• A man is perceive as becoming angry because he cares, while a woman’s anger is seen as a lack of control.

• Women and men project lower status on angry female professionals than on angry male professionals. “Women’s emotional reactions were attributed to internal characteristics (‘she is an angry person,’ or ‘she is out of control’) while men’s emotional reactions were attributed to external circumstances,” according to Yale psychology professor, Victoria Brescoli.

• Men who get angry actually attract more respect, status, better job titles and higher pay. Yet women are more likely to need to look calm to be seen as rational.

Forbes1-150x1502-2 “It’s not up to women to conform by replacing strength with warmth, but rather to increase their expression of both,” suggests Neffinger and Kohut. See the rest of the column at Forbes.

Categories: behavior, Book, Caring, Connecting and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , .
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