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Category Archive for behavior

Disagree? Ways to Keep Talking Instead of Arguing

He takes a stupid stand. (Translation: he hit my hot button.) My first response is to dislike him. (Apparently that’s a universal reaction.) My distaste shows on my face and in my tone, despite my attempt to cover my feelings in a cloak of civility. Even friends or sympathetic bystanders take a psychic step back. Naturally he reacts in one of two ways: Stepping Back (saying little, going blank-faced, silent or even walking away) or Escalating Up (counter-attacking, speaking louder, standing closer). It’s instinctual – beyond our conscious choice. These are rapid, thin slices of gut reactions and responses. The… Read More

Six Ways to Cultivate a Sense of Mutuality With Others

1. Two Ways to Turn an Insult Into Opportunity to Bring Out Their Better Side • In Split-Second Persuasion, Kevin Dutton recalls a story in a London newspaper of “an elderly Afro-Caribbean man traveling home from work on a bus. At one bus stop a drunk guy got on and couldn’t find a seat. ‘Get up, you fat black nigger bastard!’ he shouted at the man. ‘You calling me fat?’ responded the man. The bus erupted with laughter, causing the drunk guy to stomp off the bus and the responder to attract admiration and support. “Disaster averted in just four… Read More

Six Ways to Make Smarter Decisions By Not Getting Sidetracked

David Phillips was rushing up and down the supermarket aisles within seconds after seeing Healthy Choice’s “Early Bird Special.” He bought up all their 90-cent soups in the store. Then he raced over to a discount outlet to get all the brand’s 25-cent chocolate pudding cups. No time to pause. Phillips asked the store manager to order 60 more cases, and then requested the addresses of the chain’s other local outlets. The next weekend he and his mother-in-law to drove a van from Fresno to Davis, buying up all to the pudding cups in those stores. He and his wife… Read More

Four Traits for Becoming More Valued, Visible and Frequently Quoted Ally

As an employee one of the best ways to grow your personal brand is to strengthen relationships with your organization’s key stakeholders and unexpected outside allies. Here are four methods to enable you to become a valued ally: 1. To prove you can actually be helpful to a customer or other key stakeholder to the firm – and thus a valued ally – adopt the Triangle Talk approach to connecting with others: A. You B. Me C Us First address one of their specific needs or interests, then cite exactly how you can support that interest, and then ask if… Read More

You Can Make Most Any Bad Situation Better

When told to tackle the widespread child malnutrition in Vietnam in 1990 as an employee of Save the Children, Jerry and Monique Sternin could easily have become overwhelmed. Plus the country’s foreign minister told them, “You have six months to make a difference.” Instead of looking at the macro problems such as polluted water, he asked the mothers in one village to meet with him to discover, together, the healthiest children and to then discover why. They found that the mothers of healthier kids were feeding their children four meals a day (using the same amount of food as other… Read More