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Category Archive for Miscellaneous

Can You Keep Your Cool When Under Fire?

When you most want to smash someone in the face or run out of the room, remember this ironic opportunity. Cooling off someone else’s anger can be a way to actually bring that person closer. Warning: Don’t add fuel to the fire by suggesting that they calm down. Hint: “the opposite of anger is not calmness, it’s empathy,” notes Mehmet Oz. So, when someone’s angry at you, that empathy must start with you. Here are five actionable tips that have helped me, when I’ve used them, which is not often enough. None will work all the time, and some will… Read More

How Power Connectors Become More Highly Valued

“The way to get someone to like you immediately is to find a commonality. Almost any commonality, no matter how trivial – a shared alma mater, an interest in running, a love of dogs – will get the ball rolling,” Influence author, Robert Cialdini told Reinventing You author, Dorie Clark, notes Judy Robinett in her new book, How to be a Power Connector. Sure people like people who are like them. That’s the Familiarity Effect. Some of the most enduringly popular entertainers, for example, have what’s call high Q scores, including Tom Hanks, Ellen Degeneres and Steve Martin. Some plummet. The One-Two Path Towards Greater Popularity And being likeable leads to being trusted, because one is exhibiting warmth before demonstrating competence, not the… Read More

Maximize Mentoring with Tips From Kevin Bacon’s TV Show Involving Serial Killers

LaRae Quy, Co-author It’s disconcerting to hear that there are an estimated 300 active serial killers in the U.S. That’s part of the chilling premise of the popular, sometimes violent new TV show, The Following. Serial killers, led by a psychopath, manage to find a way to communicate with each other, and recruit other killers into their network. This dark, fast-paced crime show is an unexpected place to discover insights about the benefits of mentoring, yet we can. This column is co-written with LaRae Quy, an undercover and counterintelligence FBI agent for 25 years. Mike Weston, a smart, young FBI… Read More

Be Happier With Others by First Bringing Out Their Best Side

#1 Tap the Little-Known Secret to First Impressions for Building Likeability Vala Afshar intuitively practices a little-known secret for attracting talented people as friends and colleagues. It’s an obvious truth, once stated. I saw it vividly demonstrated at Pivotcon.Via Twitter, I noticed how he specifically cited others’ insights and accomplishments. Yet it was only in seeing understated Afshar in the packed reception that I saw how people were drawn into his warm orbit. In the midst of this active crowd, with fast-paced conversations, he was able to bring out two essential parts of each person with whom he spoke. In… Read More

Make the Next Chapter of Your Life Story the Adventure You Really Want to Live

Writing of her secret life as a prostitute, a blogger with the pseudonym Belle de Jour had a backstory worthy of a movie script. In fact it was turned into a Showtime TV series. She wanted to have a satisfying next chapter of her life story so she wrote about it. You see she’s “a respected specialist in developmental neurotoxicology and cancer epidemiology.” Few of us lead a startling double life yet we may want to play a new part in the next chapter. To create fresh scenes for your life, view it as a movie story. That’s what Donald Miller did… Read More