Moving From Me To We BlogMoving From Me To We Blog

Category Archive for mutuality matters

Six Ways to Cultivate a Sense of Mutuality With Others

1. Two Ways to Turn an Insult Into Opportunity to Bring Out Their Better Side • In Split-Second Persuasion, Kevin Dutton recalls a story in a London newspaper of “an elderly Afro-Caribbean man traveling home from work on a bus. At one bus stop a drunk guy got on and couldn’t find a seat. ‘Get up, you fat black nigger bastard!’ he shouted at the man. ‘You calling me fat?’ responded the man. The bus erupted with laughter, causing the drunk guy to stomp off the bus and the responder to attract admiration and support. “Disaster averted in just four… Read More

What I Ultimately Learned From My Mortifying Mistake

To this day I’m mortified when I see a box of chocolates. Perhaps sharing this story may save you from embarrassing yourself in a similar way. I was in the Antwerp airport, heading back to San Francisco. Before settling into a seat at my gate I bought two indulgences for the flight home, John LeCarre’s Our Kind of Traitor, and a box of Pierre Marcolini truffles, one of the most popular brands in Europe. Within minutes I was swept into LeCarre’s masterful spy mystery. But I promised myself I would savor my truffles, eating each one slowly. At some point… Read More

Make Your Praise More Memorable, Widely Shared and Long Lasting

My client, the CFO of a Berlin-based maker of wireless portal equipment had a rugged yet very successful third year of operation where all employees voluntarily worked long hours. Part of the way he wanted to collectively celebrate the company’s success was to hand out ten awards for different kinds of contributions. Yet, in addition to the usual way of celebrating the winners at an on-site company gathering he got an idea about how to make the recognition matter even more deeply felt and widely heard and shared. Here’s how. He confidentially spoke with a close working colleague of each… Read More

Tips for Those Who Want to be Rooted in Love

• It is harder to argue when you are holding hands. • Showing appreciation and attention, especially when you least want to show those traits and the other person most needs them, will often bring you closer. • Look to the other person’s positive intent especially when it appears he or she has none. • Saying less and listening more often gets you more of what you want. • Looking directly and warmly, rather than away, often brings out the part of the other person that you most enjoy. • Making and keeping an agreement usually helps the other person… Read More

Why Re-Define Your Life Towards a Mutuality Mindset?

Who Are You Becoming? After winning several music awards one year, Carlos Santana was asked by an eager young entertainment reporter, how he felt about “this belated recognition after so many years as a professional musician.” In an apparent non sequitur, Santana smiled warmly and replied, “I am becoming the people I love,” to which the reporter responded, “But what does that have to do with the awards?” Santana explained, “To a greater degree over time, these friends, musicians or not, seem to infuse my music and my life. And my friends say the same has happening to them.” Then,… Read More