Category Archive for mutuality matters

What I Ultimately Learned From My Mortifying Mistake

To this day I’m mortified when I see a box of chocolates. Perhaps sharing this story may save you from embarrassing yourself in a similar way. I was in the Antwerp airport, heading back to San Francisco. Before settling into a seat at my gate I bought two indulgences for the flight home, John LeCarre’s Our Kind of Traitor, and a box of Pierre Marcolini truffles, one of the most popular brands in Europe. Within minutes I was swept into LeCarre’s masterful spy mystery. But I promised myself I would savor my truffles, eating each one slowly. At some point… Read More

Make Your Praise More Memorable, Widely Shared and Long Lasting

My client, the CFO of a Berlin-based maker of wireless portal equipment had a rugged yet very successful third year of operation where all employees voluntarily worked long hours. Part of the way he wanted to collectively celebrate the company’s success was to hand out ten awards for different kinds of contributions. Yet, in addition to the usual way of celebrating the winners at an on-site company gathering he got an idea about how to make the recognition matter even more deeply felt and widely heard and shared. Here’s how. He confidentially spoke with a close working colleague of each… Read More

Tips for Those Who Want to be Rooted in Love

• It is harder to argue when you are holding hands. • Showing appreciation and attention, especially when you least want to show those traits and the other person most needs them, will often bring you closer. • Look to the other person’s positive intent especially when it appears he or she has none. • Saying less and listening more often gets you more of what you want. • Looking directly and warmly, rather than away, often brings out the part of the other person that you most enjoy. • Making and keeping an agreement usually helps the other person… Read More

Why Re-Define Your Life Towards a Mutuality Mindset?

Who Are You Becoming? After winning several music awards one year, Carlos Santana was asked by an eager young entertainment reporter, how he felt about “this belated recognition after so many years as a professional musician.” In an apparent non sequitur, Santana smiled warmly and replied, “I am becoming the people I love,” to which the reporter responded, “But what does that have to do with the awards?” Santana explained, “To a greater degree over time, these friends, musicians or not, seem to infuse my music and my life. And my friends say the same has happening to them.” Then,… Read More

Fertilize Your Combinatorial Creativity by Connecting with Diverse Individuals

If successful scientists “have often been people with wide interests,” as Cambridge University professor William Ian Beardmore Beveridge concluded in The Art of Scientific Investigation, then you, too, might make more breakthroughs by seeking more varied people and experiences. Innovation most often happens when you adapt an idea from one domain into a new one, and that’s most likely to happen when you engage with people from different professions, backgrounds, industries, ages and so on. As Brain Pickings’ Maria Popova suggests, we need combinatorial creativity to have more experiences so we can connect the dots, cross-pollinate. Like LEGO building blocks,… Read More