Conflict Resolution

Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In
by Roger Fisher, William Ury, and Bruce Patton. This is the all-time classic book on negotiation. Based on the Harvard Negotiation Project, editions of this book have now sold over 1.3 million copies. This book is worth getting just for the first of four valuable peacemaking tools it offers: how to separate the people from the problem.

Put another way, don't get personal when you negotiate. That's the biggest mistake people often make in attempting to settle disputes. The other three tools in this groundbreaking win-win approach to "principled negotiation" are focusing on interests, not positions; inventing options for mutual gain; and insisting on using objective criteria. This is the most widely read book on dispute resolution and, I believe, the best all-in-one negotiation guide you can get. It covers many everyday and work conflict situations, including where the other side has more power, is underhanded, or even refuses to participate (Buy this book).

HipBone Games
Named for the old song "the hip-bone's connected to the thigh-bone," these games of connection, created by Charles Cameron, are thought tools for use in conflict resolution, brainstorming, education, and therapy (home.earthlink.net/~hipbone).

How to Disagree Without Being Disagreeable: Getting Your Point Across with the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense
by Suzette Haden Elgin. Afraid of speaking up because of the hostile response you'll get? Or are you afraid your anger might go out of control? Do you often feel overwhelmed by a fast-talking, strong-willed person in your life? Save yourself the unnecessary stress and worry. Don't back down and don't get riled up. "You don't have to live your life on red alert," asserts Dr. Elgin. More than any other book, this one shows you practical, comfortable ways to voice differences without becoming cowed or making enemies.

If you -- or people you know -- are being verbally attacked, this book provides easy-to-follow options for responding. Want to keep cool while under fire or delivering negative news, without being verbally attacked? Dr. Elgin offers scenarios and actual dialog for a variety of volatile situations. I especially appreciate her suggestions for managing escalating arguments with a spouse and for dealing with highly charged social or work conversations on subjects such as politics. Using her advice you can sense sooner when and how to gracefully disengage, respond, or redirect the conversation to another person or topic. Librarians tell me this is one of their most popular books.

Share this book with persistent complainers, those who want you to solve their problems, or those in customer service or other often stressful, front-line jobs (Buy this book).

ProMediation
This association trains and accredits mediators and advocates the use of mediation as the most beneficial means of dispute resolution. See their helpful list of resources (promediation.com).