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Tag Archive for conflict resolution

Disagree? Ways to Keep Talking Instead of Arguing

He takes a stupid stand. (Translation: he hit my hot button.) My first response is to dislike him. (Apparently that’s a universal reaction.) My distaste shows on my face and in my tone, despite my attempt to cover my feelings in a cloak of civility. Even friends or sympathetic bystanders take a psychic step back. Naturally he reacts in one of two ways: Stepping Back (saying little, going blank-faced, silent or even walking away) or Escalating Up (counter-attacking, speaking louder, standing closer). It’s instinctual – beyond our conscious choice. These are rapid, thin slices of gut reactions and responses. The… Read More

Next Time Don’t Shoot Yourself in the Foot: 38 Negotiation Tips

Long ago one of my heroes, the unflappable and well-liked Howard Raiffa once said something like, “It is easier to deal with a jerk who knows what he wants than a pleasant person who doesn’t.” He also offered this gem in his classic book, The Art and Science of Negotiation: “We act like a zero-sum society, when in reality there is a lot of non zero-sum fat to be skimmed off to everyone’s mutual advantage.” From Raiffa and others along the way, I have learned these maxims and unevenly applied them to situations in my work and life. I could… Read More