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Tag Archive for Crucial Conversations

Disagree? Ways to Keep Talking Instead of Arguing

He takes a stupid stand. (Translation: he hit my hot button.) My first response is to dislike him. (Apparently that’s a universal reaction.) My distaste shows on my face and in my tone, despite my attempt to cover my feelings in a cloak of civility. Even friends or sympathetic bystanders take a psychic step back. Naturally he reacts in one of two ways: Stepping Back (saying little, going blank-faced, silent or even walking away) or Escalating Up (counter-attacking, speaking louder, standing closer). It’s instinctual – beyond our conscious choice. These are rapid, thin slices of gut reactions and responses. The… Read More

The Secret to Staying Sought-After

Do some people stop listening before you stop talking? Consider this. When stressed one symptom is that it is literally harder to hear other people. And anyone who says they don’t feel fearful sometimes in the face of this wildly uncertain economy is in deep denial. That’s a wake-up call to savvy, caring people who want to stay sought-after and relevant. Learn exactly how to listen sooner, deeper and longer instead of talking at others, as some research shows we are increasingly doing. Try Connective Listening. Stand out by clearly listening in 20 specific, ways I described in my Forbes column, Connected and Quotable, found under the Leadership section. Some… Read More