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Tag Archive for Friendship

Why Re-Define Your Life Towards a Mutuality Mindset?

Who Are You Becoming? After winning several music awards one year, Carlos Santana was asked by an eager young entertainment reporter, how he felt about “this belated recognition after so many years as a professional musician.” In an apparent non sequitur, Santana smiled warmly and replied, “I am becoming the people I love,” to which the reporter responded, “But what does that have to do with the awards?” Santana explained, “To a greater degree over time, these friends, musicians or not, seem to infuse my music and my life. And my friends say the same has happening to them.” Then,… Read More

What is Not Revealed is Sometimes Most Revealing

Like many photographers before him, Gerald Zaltman was visiting remote areas of the world to capture images of people living lives far removed from those in the United States. Here’s what made his experience different. One morning, while walking through an isolated village in Nepal, he suddenly got the idea of turning his camera over to the locals to see what they would consider significant enough to show others about themselves. Later, when he looked at all their pictures, he noticed that most of the photos cut off people’s feet. “At first, I thought the villagers had just aimed wrong,”… Read More

Deepen Your Friendships

“When you throw mud you get dirty, Adlai Stephenson once dryly remarked when advised to criticize his opponent who was launching vicious, personal attacks against him in a political campaign. He lost. Yet others, including me, believe you lose ground when you throw mud. Instead, praise the part of someone that you genuinely admire when you are tempted to “go negative.” That way you can avoid being stained by your own criticism via spontaneous trait transference. That’s where listeners automatically and unintentionally associate with you the trait you cite in describing someone else. Hint: Ever wondered why people want to kill the messenger who brings bad news? That’s trait transference. Amy Sutherland wrote… Read More

Be Lazy: How To Kick Back This Holiday to Pull Ahead

Remember When You Used to…. I walked through the hard driving rain, with a college friend of mine, to see his brand new home. He smiled back at me as he opened the front door, turned back, then suddenly paused. Water was dripping down on the floor from a hole in the silvery-colored entryway ceiling. Momentarily silent, he then said, looking back again with a wry grin, “Every silver lining has a cloud.” Unfortunately the woman he later married pointedly reminded him on several social occasions that we probably didn’t appreciate his corny humor. Soon his humor went underground. In… Read More

How to be Happier by Co-Creating a New Holiday Tradition

Some startled neighbors who were out walking or at their window yesterday asked why we were carrying a fully-decorated Christmas tree up our steep street in Sausalito. Upon hearing our story, Martin, Jim, Ingrid, Julia and Jacob, joined us, carefully picking up the fallen angel (haven’t we all fallen at some point?), wise man and blue bird ornaments along the way. The backstory began the previous evening when walking along the Sausalito waterfront with my friends visiting from Dublin and Austin. Looking over across Richardson Bay they saw the light shining on top of the hill on Angel Island. I… Read More