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Tag Archive for Gretchen Rubin

Two Secrets to Daily Happiness

Simplify. It’s clarifying. Only then can one can focus. Focus on what is really going on. From the inside out What do you feel right now? What most matters to you? What is happening, truly happening with those in the scene you are playing out right now? What best serves the situation? My friend Nate says, “What would love do now?” Gratefulness. “First things first” will be apparent. After all, “Life is short, and many of us tend to clutter our lives with things that we do not really want to do.” Smile. Focus next on proven self-esteem. We earn self-esteem when… Read More

The Velcro Effect of Praise and Insults

“.. .she pointed the audience to people who were great examples of living their dreams with a very motivating and empowering attitude,” Heather Parlato wrote about Colleen Wainwright. Praising individuals in the audience is especially helpful when facing a tough crowd as I described in a comment here. Bill Clinton, at his best, is a master at giving praise as Sean Stephenson suggests, dubbing his approach “the carwash phenomenon.” Conversely, criticizing others leaves an indelible stain on one’s reputation in this increasingly connected world. When you throw mud you get dirty. Yet, ironically one of the easiest ways to be… Read More

Can You Come Out and Play?

Just as Daniel Gilbert discovered in Stumbling on Happiness that we aren’t adept at knowing how happy we will be in the future, Gal Zauberman and John G. Lynch found that we get it wrong about how much free time we’ll have. They dryly dub this effect, “Resource Slack.” Read More

What Holiday Role Do You Want to Play… This Year?

Something in yesterday’s “Modern Love“ column struck me as ringing true, not only for enduring marriages but for flourishing friendships, “Being single is all about the future, about the person you’re going to meet at Starbucks or after answering the next scientific compatibility questionnaire. Being married, after a certain point, is about the past, about a steadily growing history of moments that provide a confidence of comfort, an asset that compounds over time.” Perhaps friendships also compound with our attentive interest over time. Holidays are poignant anyway. Why not use the emotions that arise to deepen your relationships? Choose the role you… Read More

Brevity and Specificity Breed Quotability

• “Bank fees are like financial wedgies.” • “One of the founding fathers of rock and roll has left the building he helped construct.” • “Eat food, not too much, mostly vegetables.” These colorful one-liners are easy to remember because we immediately get a mental picture from the physical world. Here’s hints for honing your quotability, but first two pithy examples: “Darlings, make blogs, not war.” ~ Adrianna Huffington’s 2007 acceptance speech at the Webby awards. (Winners are limited to five words) Asked to write a six-word short story, Ernest Hemingway gave us this poignant one, “For sale: baby shoes, never used.” In… Read More