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Tag Archive for Kevin Dutton

Six Ways to Cultivate a Sense of Mutuality With Others

1. Two Ways to Turn an Insult Into Opportunity to Bring Out Their Better Side • In Split-Second Persuasion, Kevin Dutton recalls a story in a London newspaper of “an elderly Afro-Caribbean man traveling home from work on a bus. At one bus stop a drunk guy got on and couldn’t find a seat. ‘Get up, you fat black nigger bastard!’ he shouted at the man. ‘You calling me fat?’ responded the man. The bus erupted with laughter, causing the drunk guy to stomp off the bus and the responder to attract admiration and support. “Disaster averted in just four… Read More

Pull Others Closer And Feel Better Together

These three true stories share a vital trait that can you can adopt to boost your mood — and your value and visibility with others — as an individual and for your organization: Thief Apologizes And Returns Money To Nashville Market 11 Years Later, How Google Maps Led To the Rescue of A Los Angles Stray Dog, and Valentine’s Gesture From Dead Husband To Wife Will Make You Melt. The common trait? They are uplifting good news stories. As Huffington Post has discovered good news coverage is a gold mine, which would not surprise Contagious author, Jonah Berger who found that we are most likely to… Read More

What Vulnerability Looks Like to Psychopaths, Monks and the Rest of Us

Ironically, both psychopaths and Tibetan monks detect deep emotions that are invisible to others. Psychopaths are much better at recognizing “those telltale signs in the gait of traumatized assault victims” notes The Wisdom of Psychopaths author, Kevin Dutton. Tibetan monks, steeped in meditative practice, are also especially adept at reading feelings that are hidden from the rest of us, Paul Ekman discovered. Ekman, is the preeminent expert on lying and on the six universally expressed emotions in the face — anger, sadness, happiness, fear, disgust and surprise. Scarily, psychopaths score especially high on the Hare Self-Report Scale of psychopathy in… Read More

The Secret to Staying Sought-After

Do some people stop listening before you stop talking? Consider this. When stressed one symptom is that it is literally harder to hear other people. And anyone who says they don’t feel fearful sometimes in the face of this wildly uncertain economy is in deep denial. That’s a wake-up call to savvy, caring people who want to stay sought-after and relevant. Learn exactly how to listen sooner, deeper and longer instead of talking at others, as some research shows we are increasingly doing. Try Connective Listening. Stand out by clearly listening in 20 specific, ways I described in my Forbes column, Connected and Quotable, found under the Leadership section. Some… Read More

Hooked?

When I was a reporter covering business trends and profiles of executives throughout Europe the stories usually fascinated me, yet I was often more struck by the off-hand advice of my interpreter, a young French woman. Amélie has become a lifelong friend, by the way. Becoming Besotted by You With great equanimity Amélie once suggested that I, “think of it as a fish biting the bait and getting the hook caught in his mouth,” when she was giving me her mother’s advice on romance. “Once a man is hooked on you he sees everything you do as adorable. He’s only seeking… Read More